"I'm just a Milk Machine, Feeding my BA-A-BY.."
- themayachronicles
- Jun 2, 2020
- 7 min read
Hi everyone,
So its been a hot minute since I've last posted anything on here, I do apologise, but sometimes life does have different directions and other plans! BUT I'm baaaaaaaaaack, and ready to share more life experiences with a toddler (can't believe I'm saying that!) and being a single mummy!
So now that's out the way, I've wanted to do a post about my experience with Breastfeeding! so here it is!
if this is something that offends you ------> |_| the doors there hunny!
This will be a long post, but trust me hang in there!
*Before I get into things I just want to state that this is my own personal journey and choices, everyones experiences are different, and my tips and advice may not work or apply to you!. So please always seek advice from health care professionals, feeding teams, GPs if you are struggling or need advice!*
As you might've guessed from this post I did decide to exclusively breastfeed, I always saw myself breastfeeding when thinking about having children, no matter my age or situation it was a goal of mine and nothing was going to stop me!
HOWEVER NOTHING could've prepared me for how hard it would be, it's not all sunsets and rainbows, sorry to break the news to you.
Immediately after Maya was born I put her to my boobie and luckily enough for me she latched correctly and quite happily all by herself with a tiny bit of guidance! I have never felt love or a bond like it, so at that moment there was nothing stopping me persevering.
I was told when i was taken back down to the ward that I would be seen by a member of the feeding team to see how I was getting on, however this never happened, luckily everything was okay and i didn't feel the need to ask for help.
Anyway I went home to my very supportive family and a mum who breastfed 3 babies (what an angel!) so I had a very good support network!, However some people aren't as lucky to have what I have SO PLEASE IF YOU AREN'T SEEN LIKE I WAS PROMISED - REACH OUT DO NOT SHY AWAY! so I can understand why some mums give up or feel like they cant carry on - because its very hard, draining and mentally challenging!
The first couple of nights were probably the hardest for me, my mum stayed in my bed with me for support. But if any of you are like me, I used to spend 50% of my time (if I wasn't eating, working or socialising) NAPPING. I loved (LOVE-D) being the key word here) my sleep! Now having a newborn tugging on your nipple every 2 hours is exhausting. Yes every mum goes through this even when bottle feeding, but breastfeeding takes every drop of energy you could possible have left in your body out!. Which is understandable why some mums resort to bottle feeding, because you do get that little bit of extra time to rest as a partner or whatever support you have can offer the baby a bottle!
I did have a few problems along the way, constant breakdowns into tears whilst feeling like a cow being milked - and this is a genuine feeling you experience, you don't feel anything else other then a milk machine! thoughts of "I can't do this anymore, or my life would be so much easier if I bottle fed"
I also had a few days where she didn't latch on properly no matter how much guidance I gave her and re-latching, and re-postitioning etc and getting stressed, but being stressed isn't good for either of you as your milk production reduces which makes the baby stressed. So my advice would be try and keep calm, I know its easier said then done however, if you can, take deep breaths count to ten and try again! I had a few occasions where I would ask my mum to try and help feed my nipple into Mayas mouth - so your family get to know you pretty well! I did also experience the doubt of my milk production being enough and whether she was getting enough, as there is no measurements on boobies, although that would be so much easier! and the thought of resorting to formula broke my heart, this led to me feeling like I would have failed her! It was a never ending cycle, I did learn to just carry on and keep going, as one day it will click and you'll look back and think it was all worth it! I certainly do! I did become overwhelmed with the advice booklets given during preganancy and after, as they constantly repeated nose to nipple and nipple above lips and lips inwards, outwards, I spent majority of my time thinking has she got enough of my nipple inside her mouth or above or below her mouth, because mine doesn't look like the photos of this leaflet, she's not sucking how they told me shed suck, and looking back now I really wish I had just sat back and watched it and enjoyed what was happening and the bond that was being formed. Because at the end of the day if it's comfortable, not painful and you and baby are happy, then it doesn't matter what the leaflets tell you, your baby is clever enough to tell you they aren't getting enough or they aren't happy. EVERY BABY, BOOB AND MUMMY IS DIFFERENT! We aren't all bless with the perfect perky boobies or the perfect shaped nipple, or the perfect ratio of areola to nipple. As long as mum and baby are comfy why should we compare or doubt the way we are doing things.
Do any of you mums remember to eat drink or breathe - haha! This was another thing I forgot to do due to being so tired and not feeling like you have time to eat 3 meals a day as your told to nap when the baby naps, but two hours isn't a very long time to eat, sleep drink, go to the toilet, wash clothes or be a normal person when you're breastfeeding! or feeding at all! But breakfast bars and breakfast biscuits became my bestfriend, as they were easy to grab and eat while maya ate too! Ask a friend, parent, partner or whoever to make you some on the go snack bars - trust me you'll thank me! - or even ask them to make you some tea, or a sandwich whatever you need to eat as long as your putting something in your body!
Now we get on to the bit that still to this day angers me!
BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC.
I, myself, really struggled with the feeling of being stared at and judged when out in public. It doesn't compute in my brain as why of today in 2020 is breastfeeding in public still so frowned upon! HELLO PEOPLE ITS NATURAL AND NORMAL!! and worst of all, it tends to be the generation in which breastfeeding was at its peak!
There is nothing worse then spending the day out in a shopping centre and having a screaming baby - as people still to this day also seem to frown upon - that needs feeding and you only have a boob to offer! The thought to many people of getting your boob out in public is enough to freak anyone out, but for a new mother who is providing food for her child and being stared at and whispered about does not help.
This got so bad for me that I used to plan my days out so much so that I'd rush around to get things done, so that I could get back to my car so I could breastfeed in peace. Even when going shopping with my mum, if Maya needed feeding we'd go back to the car and then when finished carry on shopping! Maya didn't really like being covered up although I had some amazing cover ups which did relieve some pressure (i'll link at the bottom) She wouldn't take to being covered up! But I also think my stress of being in public and fearing being judged or shouted at or talked about stopped my milk production which also made her stressed!
My point here is NO MOTHER SHOULD BE MADE TO FEEL THIS WAY WHEN DOING SOMETHING THAT IS COMPLETELY NATURAL AND WHAT THEY ARE MADE TO DO! at the end of the day I'm feeding my child. And looking back now, I really wish I hadn't of let it get to me and just ignored what people thought or said!
We are now a week away from Mayas birthday and she only stopped breastfeeding a few weeks ago! We made it a solid 10/11 months exclusively breastfeeding, and I am so proud of myself for making it this far, I must admit towards the end I was glad she'd stopped, as a baby breastfeeding whilst also having teeth is another level of pain!
Yes it's not easy, I could never say to anyone looking for advice on breastfeeding say its an easy ride, as its far from that. However, stick by it and breathe through it, it'll all turn out okay! BUT on the other hand if it doesn't work out for you DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP!!!! BE PROUD OF HOW FAR YOU GOT OR THAT YOU EVEN FOR A LITTLE BIT GAVE IT YOUR ALL! You have not failed you baby, you have not failed yourself, you're a mother and regardless of what you choose, your baby will love you for it!
Do Not be afraid to get in touch with you local breastfeeding team, they are normally located in the hospital, your local children's centre, your GP, your family, or any other healthcare professional or support system you have, because you are not alone, there is ways of getting through it and making it easier for yourself, but if you really want to stick to your guns don't give up, Ask for help and advise!
YOU'VE GOT THIS MAMA!!!!
Thank you for reading, and I am more then happy to talk about anything breastfeeding related, just drop me an email on my GET IN TOUCH PAGE!
Elle xoxo
Link for my Cover up : https://www.amazon.co.uk/BebeChic-UK-Quality-Oeko-Tex®-Certified-Breastfeeding/dp/B00B6XK7YO/ref=sr_1_8?dchild=1&keywords=breastfeeding+cover&qid=1591056105&sr=8-8
^^ It has a wire around the neck bit which enables you to look down at your baby, but also covers you from anyone to see in! I loved it!
Also I swore by my Breastfeeding cushion! It saved my arms and so much more comfortable for me and baby! Mine was from TKMAXX however I've linked one similar!
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