"No pain, no gain, walking like a zombie...Like a zombieee"
- themayachronicles
- Jun 8, 2020
- 6 min read
Hi Everyone,
Let's talk Sleep..... or lack of!
Now as I briefly touched on sleeping in my last post about Breastfeeding, I worshiped my sleep before knowing I was pregnant! I used to take every opportunity I could to take naps, and I have never been a morning person.. some people call this being lazy, I call it reenergising!
BUT......... NOT ANYMORE! JEEEEEEEE-WHIZZ I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR SUCH A DRAMATIC CHANGE!
Now one thing I don't understand after having a child, is why people use the phrase "oh I slept like a baby" - Oh what baby is that hun CAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW! Babies or my baby doesn't know what sleep is and never really has!
Now every baby is different so please don't be sitting here having a full meltdown and about to grab the tub of ben and jerrys! this is just my experience and how I managed -- or didn't manage in some situations.
At the very beginning Maya happened to be one of those babies who would not be put down, she just wanted to be cuddled 24/7, and it's may be my fault that I gave in because it was easier, and I knew I could get some rest knowing she was comfortable and happy, and not screaming - haha! From the first night we brought her home, I tried her in the next to me crib - (link below because I think they're a fab idea!) with her Ollie owl white noise, and while it worked for a bit, she would not settle unless on me - which led to me not getting much rest, also breastfeeding but also being scared and anxious about whether she was still okay, and it's also not very comfy sleeping sat up cradling a baby. Pillows became my bestfriend, I felt about 7 again and building a pillow reinforcement around me to support me! (ladies hold on to that "boyfriend" pillow you bought while pregnant it may come in handy! - also a link below if you don't know what I'm talking about)
I tried and tried again with the next to me, and on some occasions it would be amazing and she would stay in there all night (besides waking for boob) but others were like WW3!
During the day, I attempted at any opportunity to get her down, either in her carry cot, bouncer or Joie Swing (link below), and while the swing and bouncer were okay as long as the movement was constant, the carry cot was a no go area, she'd wake up as I put her down! So back onto mummy's chest it was, Don't worry Mum Police we were supervised while we slept cuddling, before I get shot down!
However, Mayas sleep got progressively worse which not only took a toll on her because she was so grumpy and tired, but also me and my mental state! I was exhausted, i'd sit on the sofa miserable and constantly overthinking - now anyone who knows me well enough will know I do this anyway but without any sleep my overthinking was on steroids. I used to think that I was failing as a parent (still do, but this is another post to come), what was I doing so wrong that my child just wouldn't sleep? It got to a stage where I would research sleep therapists and google remedies (W-O-R-S-T thing to do, I do not recommend!) I'd lay in bed crying thinking 'why me? I need a break, I cant do this anymore, I need sleep!"
However I persevered, and while going through the cluster feed stage, Maya ended up co-sleeping in my bed, (again Mum Police - leave it out, I followed all the safe sleeping for co-sleeping so hush) and I would get comments saying, its because you spoiled her too much, and didn't put her down, or oooh you should nip that in the bud! - UM NO I would do anything I could to enable me and my baby could have some sleep, and if this meant sleeping together then so be it!
But mums, do not ever feel guilty for "over spoiling" your baby with cuddles, if they want to be there then let them, because there will come a time where they won't want to do that anymore, and you'll look back and cherish those moments, and realise actually it did them no harm!
I would like to get to the part where I tell you all - WE CRACKED IT - because still to this day we have good days and bad days, and yes - she is still in the bed with me - am I dragging it out too much because I'd feel lost without her in my bed? maybe, do I care? NOPE!
Sleep has improved though, we now aren't feeding to go to sleep anymore, we have given in to a dummy, however mums you gotta do what you gotta do! But the dummy is only at sleep times and she knows that, doesn't whinge for one, other then when going to bed or naps! We do have a better routine as I really struggled with a routine - before I just could not get her into a solid routine! But now we have, and she now goes to sleep on her own with a little bit of encouragement and a very large teddy or two! We tend to sleep through the whole night, with a few wriggles and squeals, but we are getting there!
So, it does get better, I promise you! - I was forever feeling like it was never going to end, and I would just be a zombie for the rest of my life, but it does improve, and ultimately your baby will decide themselves when they are ready to give in! Trust me I have my days where I still lay awake with her screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing herself around wondering what I ever did wrong or what am I still doing wrong, but I'm not doing anything wrong, i'm doing the best I can!
Below are things that helped me and what I tried in order to conquer the sleeping!
White noise for me has been an absolute life saver! I've used Ollie the Owl from Maya being new born which was fantastic, but also having an app on my phone for when we were out - you do encounter funny looks if you have it playing round shops! White noise also helped with the aeroplane when we went on holiday, as the noise in the cabin was similar to the noise i'd been playing since she was a baby, I'm not saying this would work for everyone, and it may be a complete coincidence, but it worked for us!
Sleep Bags - I love the idea of sleep bags as there is a reduced risk of babies getting tangled in blankets! so I do recommend these, mine were from Tesco but they are available everywhere! We only used them up until about 5/6 months as Maya is quite a warm baby and preferred to just be in her pyjamas, and still does now prefer to have nothing on her other then pyjamas!
Gro Egg - I bought the Gro Egg before I bought anything else, because my bedroom is above the garage and has extra insulation in so I wanted a way of keeping check on what temperature my room was at, so I would know what would be the best to put on Maya if she needed anything! Also works brilliantly as a night light!
But I guess my point here is, never give up - as is my point for everything.
It. will. get. better.
Believe. in. yourself.
You will get through this, it won't last forever and again if you are struggling please reach out, to sleep therapists, local children centres, nurses, GPs, health visitors, family, friends, me! Talk to people, a problem shared is a problem halved!
Elle xoxo
Links :
Gro Egg - https://gro.co.uk/product/gro-egg/
(tip; I bought mine second hand from Facebook Market Place as i knew I wouldn't need it for long! always worth a check, as i got mine for £70 practically brand new!)
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